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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

♥Ugly♥



Hi there. Long time no bloggy talking. I've been working, raising babies, exploding cakes in my auntie's kitchen. The usual. I haven't forgotten this place at all, but it's not until I'm compelled by something bigger than myself to share a message that, in the very smallness of my finite being I would be incapable of sharing without inspiration from the heart of the living God, that I say things here, for you to read. Do what you want with that.

Moving on, I just wanted to tell all of you about my job! I work with ugly old people. The way they smell is yuck. The other day one of the dear hearts told me that my hair is ugly and that I really should learn how to fix it. They spit on me. I dumped a bed pan full of bed pan water all over my back thereby saturating myself with the smell of the urine of a 97 year old woman the other day. Do not want, ever again.

So I've been storing up all sorts of interesting things that occur on a regular basis at my place of employment to share with you. I can't REALLY share them based upon privacy laws, so I won't use names or any other identifying information lest I should incur the wrath of the federal government. But I will tell you about the joy that yucky people we've thrown away have the power to use to change the whole world.

We run after graduate degrees. There are all sorts of jobs that we aren't allowed to do without a piece of paper that says we is smart. So we go get those pieces of paper and then beat other people over their heads with them to prove that we know the most. We're superior because we spent 03840835083486 dollars to be that. We know how to fill out pieces of paper the right way. We put our initials in the correct boxes, and use words in the way that they best make us look like we know what we're doing, and we're successful because of that. Nurses learn sterile technique at school and employ that with the utmost precision. And then win awards for that kind of ability. We save money, refine the bottom line, have impeccable credit scores, buy purses like this:

(That's a $200.00 purse.)
Eat things that cost way too much money because we can afford it. That's what makes us influential. We mail money halfway across the planet and tear families apart by way of adopting babies from S. America in the interest of "humanitarianism" instead of helping to put them back together. And that's what makes us important, and worthy.

But there is a woman I know that died unable to speak. The only way she could communicate was through a song. So we would sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to her. She was bent over and silent and food fell out of her mouth and her eyes were yucky because they were runny all the time. Before she got sick, she had many children. And was a prolific writer. And expressed joy at being alive, and spoke of life as a web to be woven with the choice to be happy. She didn't have the money to buy special coffee that costs way too much. Her clothes were donations.

There is another lady that picked cotton when she was young, and lived through the hell of an abusive relationship during a time when these things weren't spoken of. You just held on and never left. She's excited at the prospect of being awake and alive. She says, "I love you two times!" with every other breath. She's so happy to have her little red shoes on her feet, and her hugs are full of a strength that I don't have.

Ladies and gentleman, this is what's beautiful. These people fill me all the way up with a love that I am so humbled to be a party to.

And so I ask you to please, rethink beauty and success and the way you define "good".

xo,

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