Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Secret

Do what you aren't obligated to do. That's the secret. You don't have to forgive the person that did the most horrible thing. You have no reason to care for another who's done nothing good, ever. You don't owe a thief. Or a murderer compassion or understanding. But do what they have no right to expect and what you have no duty to give. And when you understand that the world isn't fair. And strive to live fairness without prejudice, knowing that the people you serve may not be deserving of anything from anyone. Live the remedy, and the justice, and the fair thing that you hope for but never find. You'll find out what love really is.


Monday, May 21, 2012

Everything I've Lost

mmmMM Coffeee. I woke up at 10 this morning. And immediately got all teary-sad. Stopped myself. And thanked God for this pretty day. Got up brushed teeth got dressed ran out of the house forgetting to put the dog up. Because I wanted coffee and was out of creamer.

Ran up to the store that I absolutely cannot stand because I not only needed creamer, but power steering fluid for the leak in my power steering rack that I cannot afford to fix right now. And a scale. Because I'm feeling rather large these days. Grabbed the kids some after school snack stuff, stopped by McDonald's and got myself coffee because I knew I wouldn't want it to wait for it to drip when I got home.

I walked in the door, and the dog I forgot to put up had crapped in the living room, and eaten the bowl from yesterday's lunch I'd had in my purse and forgot to put in the kitchen the night before.

When I got home at 8 last night, my kids welcomed me. I spent some time with both of them, doing my best to keep the tears to myself. I sat on the couch and rubbed my oldest baby's feet for awhile and listened to her ask me if I'd take her to the library. I said I would. And held my other baby for a little while before I sent them to bed.

And then I lost it.